WORLD

WORLD

Nobel

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THIS year's Nobel Prize in Literature has been awarded to a woman who spent three minutes pressing at her mobile screen to get the apostrophe into 'its'.
homeless

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HOMELESS advocates have thanked McDonald’s for refusing to serve people sleeping rough, noting they have enough problems as it is.
ISIS

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MY KITCHEN Rules fans have taken over a trending ISIS hashtag with tweets of god-awfully pretentious food.
Cats

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THE family pet will be every household's chief breadwinner within five years, it has emerged.

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TONY Abbott has unveiled plans for Australia to leave the United Nations to create a body of countries with conservative governments.
Dora the Explorer

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CHILDREN are producing Dora the Explorer episodes in rat-infested sweatshops to finance major Mexican drug cartels, it can be revealed.
Abbott

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PRIME Minister Tony Abbott says Prince Phillip's knighthood was not his fault as he chose Prince Andrew to receive the honour.

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AL-QAEDA and ISIS have denied responsibility for today's Triple J Hottest 100.
Allenby

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THE "alleged" bashing and robbery of pro golfer Robert Allenby is the latest scam in the most convoluted world conspiracy known to man, says a nutter.
Sand

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WORLD leaders have committed to war against sand for refusing to fuck off after a trip to the beach.

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