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Grand Final
‘Hang on, do I get paid double time?’
Picture: Jimmy Harris

CONSERVATIVE Victorians will work for normal pay this Friday in protest against the Grand Final public holiday.

7-Eleven franchisee Reginald Worthington said he would open his CBD convenience store at 7am sharp and pay himself the unusually legal minimum wage to “stick it right up” the Andrews Government’s populist policy.

“I’ll be doing the work of my two normal employees; sure, my wage bill will be higher but I’ll be pushing up daisies before I let a socialist four-eyed nerd tell me what to do,” he said.

“I’ll even consider not docking my own pay if someone steals petrol on the day.”

CBD public servant Shane Smith said he couldn’t understand why the public holiday was needed.

“I used to turn up, pretend to do some work for a couple of hours before heading out for the Grand Final parade and a long boozy lunch and sneaking back into the office to clock out,” he said.

“Why would I bother travelling into town now we have a public holiday?”

 

 

 

 

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