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‘How long will this meeting take?’
’20 minutes’

A MAJOR corporation has moved its offices to Melbourne’s loop trains in a bid to get decent internet.

Reginald Worthington, director of the International Research Centre, said he had given his 1125 staff laptops and mobiles with 8-gigabyte monthly plans and told them to work from trains in the tunnel as internet reception there was “mint”.

“The web at our old building would always drop out due to our shit ISP or Bill in the mail room draining our bandwidth streaming porn,” Mr Worthington said.

“But the internet in the loop is faultless and changing trains every 13 minutes or so means my staff won’t suffer severe heart attacks from sitting on their arses all day.”

Shayne Smith from accounts said he enjoyed the variety of people he met on Melbourne’s train network.

“Most of them are staring down at their mobiles or books but yesterday a girl smiled at me,” he said.

“Only problem is it was because I gave her my seat, which means I couldn’t work for 15 minutes and had to do overtime as a result.”


Picture: Marco Raaphorst. Preview picture: Chris Brown

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