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Triple J
‘This music is making my head bulge’

AL-QAEDA and ISIS have denied responsibility for today’s Triple J Hottest 100.

In a statement broadcast on Al Jazeera, Al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri said releasing such a nauseatingly mediocre list of music was extreme, even by its standards.

“We vow to continue our jihad against crusader America and its servant Israel, and whoever supports them,” al-Zawahiri said.

“But we would not wish the likes of Chet Faker’s ‘Talk is Cheap’ upon anyone.”

A YouTube account linked to ISIS uploaded a video showing two hooded men threatening to kill three hostages unless every single alt-J recording was destroyed.

“The Infidels who unleashed such evil must be made to pay,” they said.

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