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Will the butcher also pay for your chemotherapy?

ONE of man’s most eagerly awaited days will be banned under tough new legislation in a bid to stop cancer in its tracks.

The United Nations Security Council has announced Steak and BJ Day – an event adored by men across the planet – will be illegal as of next year after the World Health Organisation found red meat was probably carcinogenic.

Reginald Worthington, the time-honoured event’s president, slammed the move, questioning how police would enforce the law.

“I dare say the wife and I will be eating plenty of red meat on March 14 and, unless the cops can gather metadata from our mouths they’ll be none the wiser,” he said.

“Although if she bites I won’t hesitate in reporting her to police.”

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