SPORT

SPORT

Allenby

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THE "alleged" bashing and robbery of pro golfer Robert Allenby is the latest scam in the most convoluted world conspiracy known to man, says a nutter.

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YOUNG boys face a fortnight of sexual confusion as attractive but grunting women take to the tennis court for the Australian Open.
return

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BERNARD Tomic has pledged a return to being a little prick after hardly putting a foot wrong in a disappointing lead up to the Australian Open.
Big Bash

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TELEVISING Big Bash cricket live into QLD, NT and SA will likely release devil-like creatures to wipe out mankind, according to a leaked Channel 10 memo.
Big Bash

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BIG Bash Twenty20 cricket will be televised all year in a bid to capitalise on ratings, Channel 10 has announced.

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AUSTRALIAN cricket captain Steve Smith says he will all he can to bore the shit out of Sydney Test viewers and give patrons little value for money.

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AN EXTRAORDINARY number of punters have never failed to back the Melbourne Cup winner, and are not afraid to rub people's noses in it.

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ENGLAND'S national cricket wash lady has confirmed Kevin Pietersen's claim half the team was "shitting itself" before facing Mitchell Johnson.

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SYDNEY has shocked the AFL world by naming Frances Abbott as its latest NSW scholarship program recruit.

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