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Club X

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MORE than 500 pensioners have signed a petition to stop their local Club X from closing as they aren't set up for online porn.
protesters

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RECLAIM Australia protesters say Jimmy Barnes and John Farnham can take their music and piss off back to where they come from. Shane Smith, leader of the group...
Taxis

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A WEEKEND binge drinker says he would happily use taxis over Uber if they provided a memorable service.

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A MAN has claimed to have had sex with his wife outside of his birthday, anniversary or any night a movie starring a Hollywood hunk is on the tele.

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PEOPLE who want wind turbines should get a good job that pays good money, says the Federal Government.
marriage

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PRIME Minister Tony Abbott has announced he will be putting forward his own marriage bill to counter amendments proposed by the Greens and Labor.
Hockey

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JOE Hockey secretly loves to help himself to a second serving in restaurants, it has emerged.
Media

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THE media is celebrating a loophole that allows them to sack journalists for posting almost anything resembling independent thought on Twitter or Facebook.
homeless

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FUNCTIONING alcoholics are the only people with a roof over their heads who empathise with the homeless, it has emerged.
beer

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FATHERS are refusing to attend primary school fetes unless there is a beer stall they can sit all day and get wankered in.

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