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Formula
Nice cans.

A MAJOR supermarket chain boss admits a nationwide baby formula shortage is “not the breast” for Australian infants.

Coles chief executive John Durkan admitted the retail giant had its fair share of “knockers”, but said there was no point in parents being “meloncholy” about the situation as it was out of his organisation’s control.

“Basically, the Chinese have us by the jugsular,” Mr Durkan said.

“The demand for Australian formula is huge and they’re willing to pay much more, leaving our mothers with barren racks and dependant on home brand products.”

Mr Durkan said mothers shouldn’t see the situation as getting the right brand or “bust”.

“If they just give their babies a nipple of Coles formula they’ll find tits very ample.”

Picture: Gentlease

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