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‘Aah, the serenity’
Picture: Kevin Dooley

A SUBURBAN dad has put his hand up to lead a one-way trip to Mars ahead of a family holiday in a caravan park.

Shane Smith said he volunteered to be part of NASA’s first manned expedition to the red planet after learning his wife had booked a cramped cabin for seven days over New Year’s.

Mr Smith said: “Spending a long time in an small enclosed space with several people I may or may not get along with doesn’t sound great; that’s why I’ve chosen to go to Mars”.

“I’ve always dreamt of days upon days of silence surrounded by empty mass.

“Well, ever since I got married.”

NASA head of recruitment Reginald Worthington said the space agency had a particular prototype in mind for the mission.

“We’re looking for the submissive who have had their spirit crushed under a tirade of demands, complaints and abuse,” he said.

“Fathers fit the bill perfectly.”

Wife Nikki Smith said she felt for those travelling on the shuttle with her husband.

“He’ll have the place a mess before leaving the Earth’s orbit and will take six months to complete any task you ask of him.”

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