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belt
It’s a Christmas bell belt, not a belt of Christmas belles!
Pic credit: Mark Scott

WEARING a bell belt to bed will guarantee men a midnight Christmas Eve shag, says an intercourse specialist.

Australian Sex Institute Dr Shane Smith said the extremely comfortable belt, available on this website for only $199.99, allowed women to satisfy their partner’s craving for a root and childrens’ need to hear Santa’s sleigh.

Dr Smith said the clothing accessory, which can be delivered to your door by 5pm today if purchased straight away, was a fail proof way for a man to get his end wet during the festive season.

“No wife can say no when you tell them ‘it’ll be good for the kids’,” Dr Smith said.

“And it works for single men as women are hugely turned on by festive things.”

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