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AFL
This photo should have been taken weeks ago.

THE AFL trade period will be axed and top players sent to Hawthorn, Geelong, Sydney and Collingwood to save everyone’s fucking time.

AFL chief executive Gillon McLachlan said the league had become increasingly frustrated with drawn-out trade and free agency periods, especially when the most talented players ended up at the Hawks, Cats, Swans and Magpies anyway.

“AFL officials are concerned about working an extra two weeks for deals that could be done within a day under the new system and this frustration has been exacerbated by this year’s early summer weather,” he said.

“Instead of relaxing on the beach we are forced to watch lesser teams bow down to let Hawthorn win another flag, Geelong and Sydney remain contenders and Collingwood show promise and ultimately disappoint.”

The list manager of a struggling club said: “This will give us more time to choose our top draft picks, which will bolster our team”.

“Well, for two years until they piss off to one of the big clubs.”

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